How to Quit the Comparison Game: 10 Tips for Female Entrepreneurs

We’ve all been there—walking into a room or scrolling through social media, only to feel like everyone else has it more together than we do. That sinking feeling of comparison creeps in, and suddenly we’re questioning our abilities, achievements, and even our worth.

It’s something I hear time and again from the women I coach, all of whom are setting up or scaling their online businesses—a process that often triggers self-doubt and comparison as part of the growth journey.

One client, in particular, comes to mind. She’s in the process of transitioning from her corporate role to building her own coaching business. As a female solopreneur, she’s navigating the unique challenges of stepping into business ownership. She’s smart, driven, and has a clear vision for the future. But like many women, she found herself stuck in comparison at a recent industry event.

During one of our voice note exchanges, she shared some of the thoughts she was having: ‘How is everyone else so successful? I’m never going to be good enough. How have they got it all together, and I don’t?

Her words struck me, not because they were unusual, but because they’re so common among women stepping into entrepreneurship. I work with female entrepreneurs every day who face these exact feelings of “downward comparison”.

What is Downward Comparison?

Downward comparison is when we compare ourselves to others whom we perceive as being more successful, accomplished, or put together than we are, and in doing so, we feel worse about ourselves. It’s a concept in social psychology defined as comparing oneself to others who are perceived to be superior in some way【source: Wills, T.A. (1981). “Downward Comparison Principles in Social Psychology”.

This cycle can be especially tough on female entrepreneurs, who are often balancing the demands of their growing businesses with everything else life throws at them—especially when many are navigating this without a traditional business background, which can make the process even more triggering.

This type of comparison is deeply ingrained in our conditioning. From a young age, we’re taught to measure our worth against others—whether in school, at work, or in life. But the truth is, comparison is toxic for several reasons:

1. It robs you of joy.
   By focusing on what others have, we lose sight of our own progress and the things that bring us fulfillment.
2. It reinforces a scarcity mindset.
   When we compare ourselves to others, it can feel like there’s only so much success, happiness, or opportunity to go around. But success isn’t a zero-sum game—there’s room for everyone to thrive. (More on how to actually cultivate this mindset below)!
3. It stifles creativity and growth.
   When we’re fixated on others, we stop focusing on what we can do. Comparison can lead to inaction, as we start to doubt our abilities and downplay our accomplishments.
4. It leads to self-sabotage.
   Constant comparison can make us feel like we’re always falling short, which can prevent us from taking risks or pursuing our goals.

My Client’s Journey Through Comparison

As we continued our voice note exchange with my client, I shared with her that this feeling of comparison is something I see often in my work with female entrepreneurs. I reminded her that while comparison is a natural part of the journey, it doesn’t have to hold her back.

Together, we worked to reframe her mindset. I shared some practical tips to help her shift her perspective, and I used an analogy to help her recognize and celebrate the stage of the journey she’s in. I also gave her some loving inspiration, reminding her of how amazing she is and all that she’s already accomplished. Sometimes, we just need that external voice to remind us, don’t we?

In her voice note reply, she shared how helpful the tips had been and how much more positive she was instantly feeling. While the overall journey will take time, in that moment, it had an immediate positive impact, helping her let go of comparison and focus on the business she’s building for herself.

After reflecting on our conversation, I realized how many other women in my community might be facing the same challenge. That’s why I wanted to share these tips with you—because I know how powerful they can be in helping you shift your mindset and embrace your own journey.

10 Steps to Quit the Comparison Game:

1. Celebrate that you’ve noticed it.
The first step in any personal development journey is awareness. When you recognise that you’re comparing yourself, celebrate it! You’re already making progress by acknowledging it.

2. Be kind to yourself.
Instead of criticising yourself for feeling this way, approach the situation with curiosity. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this?” with compassion. The more you understand your triggers, the more you can grow from them.

3. Embrace challenges as roadmaps to success.
Ironically, the areas where you feel most challenged are often the ones that will propel you forward – directly towards your goals. When comparison arises, it’s a signal that you’re pushing beyond your comfort zone. View it as an opportunity for growth, not a setback.

4. Understand where comparison comes from.
Comparison is a result of lifelong conditioning. These patterns can be rewired. Neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to adapt and change, means you can build new, empowering thought patterns. It’s not about being flawed—it’s about learned behaviours you can unlearn.

5. Dig deep into the root of your comparisons.
Each comparison you experience has a root cause. Is it tied to how you view your value, your skills, or your identity? Recognising where it’s coming from will allow you to tackle it more effectively. Get under the surface and recognise your triggers.

6. Connect with how comparison is holding you back.
Consider how comparison is affecting your life. Is it stopping you from putting yourself out there, networking, or growing your business? When you link the effects of comparison to what’s really important to you—your vision and your goals—you’ll find more motivation to shift your mindset.

7. Collect evidence to the contrary.
We all have evidence of our own capabilities. Focus on your past achievements, strengths, and all the reasons why you’re capable. Actively look for proof that your negative comparisons are false. And if you’re a novice or beginner in a task you’re attempting and don’t have much evidence yet, borrow this powerful mindset and approach from mega business coach Marie Forleo: everything is figureoutable!

8. Use affirmations and mantras to shift your mindset.
Affirmations are a powerful way to reinforce a new mindset. Develop mantras that support the success you’re working toward and the identity you’re building. These can be simple phrases like, “I AM good enough,” or “I am on my own unique path.”

9. Appreciate your unique journey.
Every journey is different. Whether you’re just starting out or are already well-established, embrace the beauty of where you are right now. Just like a tiny acorn holds the potential to grow into a mighty oak, you have the potential to thrive, even if you’re still learning how to run and grow your business. The blueprint for success is inside you—you just need the right tools, time, and support to nurture it. So, appreciate your stage of the journey and trust in your growth. Be the acorn! #BeTheAcorn !

10. Take action.
Once you’ve acknowledged and worked through your comparison, it’s time to act. Break your goals into small, manageable steps, and focus on your own progress. Even the smallest step forward is a victory—your path is yours alone, and it’s worth celebrating.

Ready to Ditch Comparison and Step Into Your Own Success?

Comparison may be part of our conditioning, but it doesn’t have to control our journey. I’ve seen how powerful it can be when women let go of comparison and focus on building a business and life that’s truly aligned with their own vision. My client is proof that with the right mindset and tools, you can break free from the comparison game and confidently step into your own success.

So, what step can you take today to break free from comparison and embrace your unique path?

If you’re ready to dive deeper and get personalised support, I invite you to book a complimentary discovery call with me. Let’s work together to create a plan that helps you grow with confidence and clarity.